Thursday, 17 May 2012

The Henry Norris Hour

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Henry Norris is the football correspondent of the Bugle newspaper and an ardent Arsenal supporter to boot. Each week he’ll join us here at arsenalinsider.com to bring you his forthright views on all things AFC…please be advised, it is not for the faint-hearted!
Blinkered coffin-dodgers
 
Picture the scene: A silver-haired octogenarian saunters over to the bar and orders another G&T. “Who? An appeal…I shouldn’t think so. No. What on earth is that chap’s name again? Vermaelen? Some sort of foreigner, eh? Bloody hell, can’t these people learn a lesson; we’re in charge and we won’t undermine our puppets, the referees, by going back on their decisions. Make them look silly that would. Bloody people. So it’s a ‘no’ from me. Horace, fancy another, old boy?” This could easily be the scenario from those Colonel Blimp types in the FA as they discuss the Royal Arsenal appeal against the sending off of our player of the season. That these crusty cretins can’t see with their own eyes that it was never a penalty nor indeed a sending odd is a travesty. The sooner some of these blinkered coffin-dodgers pop their clogs the better. Here endeth the lesson.
 
Andrey Arshavin
 
It has come to my notice that Mr Arshavin is courting rather too much publicity and providing the Royal Arsenal doubters out there in media land with ammunition to shoot down our quest for glory. Given the level of effort our jet-heeled Russian striker is exerting on the field of play at the moment it would be wise for him to keep his lip buttoned, in the humble opinion of your correspondent. I suggest he reverts to black boots rather than changing multi-coloured footwear at half-time, runs about a bit more and starts getting amongst the goals again and then he can have as much air space, column inches and internet thingy he likes. I’d wager five pounds he’ll be off in the summer. He is starting to believe the hype. It would be shame if he heads for pastures Nou. Let’s pull together for the final push and seek out the silverware.
 
Pat Rice’s sunglasses
  
These have bothered me for some time. I call them sunglasses but they don’t appear to be actually. And that is the problem. I think they call optical looking glasses such as these reactolites. No man involved in the management of Royal Arsenal should be seen in these. The club has style, majesty and tradition and for Pat to bring such shame on the Gunners by wearing these vision-enhancing contraptions makes me want to grow boils with the sole purpose of bursting them over an open flame. Pat, no.
 
We’ve only got one Song
  
An email arrives at Norris Towers from the president of Cameroon, Paul Biya. It seems that President Biya is an ardent Arsenal fan and he writes to tell me that he will be visiting London on the weekend of the Wolves game and will be coming to the Home of Football as a guest of his fellow countryman Alex Song. Not having been before, he wanted to pick my brains about the correct chanting and various ditties of which he should be aware during the game. He tells me he does have the, er, song sheet for the ‘We’ve only got one Song’ song about Alex Song but that if there are any other pertaining to our very own Indomitable Lion he’d very much like to be in the know. I have suggested ‘Our Song has got his boots on, hip, hip, hip, hooray’ based on the tune written by Noel Gay and Ralph Butler, and recorded in 1932 by Ambrose and his Orchestra, with vocals by Sam Browne…but he seemed less than keen. Over to you dear reader: the best offering gets an signed Alex Song beer mat. Signed by me, not Alex.
Henry norris was talking to Carl Eldridge{jcomments on}
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  • alf15

    Good post, couldnt agree more about Arsehavin!

    But who is this Henry Norris of the Bugle? Is he a real person or a piss take?

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  • eldo

    That’s exactly what I’d like to know…

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  • Berg10

    Ha Ha. Nice manoeuvre.

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  • hOE

    Henry Norris is dead google him..

    PISS TAKE

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  • Hamy

    what is it with players demanding that their club bring more players? are they that blind to notice what’s goin on with Real Madrid?!…Arshavin…dude…seriously?!…I mean you’ve barely set your foot into this country and now you’re doing an “Adebayor/Torres?!” seriously?!…if that’s the case why don’t you go to Barcelona like a good boy and im sure the only position you’ll be playing IS WARMING UP THE BENCH!!!!!

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  • John back in Norfolk

    It’s nice to be back and to find that Arsenalinsider has a sense of humour.

    I must say that the first English newspaper that I had seen for the best part of a month gave me a great lift as it showed the Glorious Gunners in second place, van Persie on his way back and only Barcelona between us and a place in the next round of the Champions League.

    The next paper, after an eleven hour flight from Beijing, has Arshavin whinging about the lack of star signings, I agree with good old Henry Norris our Russian midget needs to concentrate on his day job and forget the journalistic side shows. I’ll have a couple of quid on him being on his bike come the summer.

    I’m looking forward to the Brum game on Saturday, hope we can extend the six game unbeaten run and give Barca a football lesson in mid week.

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  • db10

    i think the comments of arshavin highlight the difference in class between Cesc and most other footballers. Even when confronted by made up rumours Cesc remains completed committed to arsenal and doesn’t moan despite being a class above most of the squad and seeing his best friends at the club sold.

    Arshavin however can’t keep his gob shut.

    I have to say i don’t think he will leave at the end of the season and i hope he doesn’t because despite his comments and recent laziness he still produces regularly. He has stopped scoring but he is still in double figures for the season and he has been providing many assists.

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  • Berg10

    I still think he gets a raw deal in translation but it would be best to say nothing to begin with.

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  • Not over the hill

    I have personally checked the St. Petersburg newspapers and Andrey Arshavin has no mention at all!! Nada!! Niet!! For tge last week! Another Arsenal site has the right look about this story, Henry old chap. Go check, son, it is regurgitated mush from the pap of Rubert Murdoch!
    I like Andrey’s new hat too. Celebrating his very own village on the outskirts of Leningrad, sorry St. Petersburg. There is a building up for auction that should suit Henry to a “maly”.

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  • goonamerica

    Arshavin has seemed to me an intelligent footballer but his musings in the press indicate otherwise! my problem with him since day one are were, once teams started to break down his moves, as they do now, does he have the intelligent/ability to again become unpredictable? not sure he does. and if we brought in more “star power” who’s not to say his is not the position they play in!!!

    Colonel Blimps at the FA. excellent!

    yeah I’ll give you a dodgy foul/sending off but the first red card this year for AFC! that’s an impressive statistic with 7 odd games left in the season.

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  • db10

    who said it originated in a newspaper from St Petersburg.

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  • TJ14

    A song for Song

    He came to us from Bastia, did he, did he,
    His hair’s the same as a Rasta, Songy, Songy
    He passes, runs and wins the ball,
    In our midfield he does it all,
    Alexandre, Arsenals invisible wall!

    La la, la la, la la, la la…………..

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  • db10

    wenger said that this interview with arshavin is an old one from when rvp first got injured and “has come to surface again in some newspapers who had a problem to find some news.” great comment arsene. And I take back my criticisms of andrey and should have known better than to trust that what appears in a newspaper isn’t just made up.

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