Thursday, 17 May 2012

EXCLUSIVE: Ray Parlour’s take on our season of woe

by CARL ELDRIDGE It was a simple question, yet Ray Parlour’s humorous answer kind of summed up our season. I interviewed ooh-ahh this afternoon (keep it to five minutes, please, asked the nice man PR-ing the chat on behalf of Nationwide, sponsors of England) and listened carefully as he batted back by criticism of the players I feel haven’t been up to scratch this season.
Utterly dispirited that Parlour —  who it has to be remembered earns a crust out of the club and is, it seems, loathe to level any flak at AW and his players maybe because of this — didn’t want to lay the blame on anyone, I offered him my ticket for the Blackburn game. “I can’t that day…I am re-organising my sock drawer,” he replied.
Yes, it was funny. Yes Parlour is thoroughly likeable and Lord above knows we could have done with a few in his mould during the season we have just, nearly, had. But imagine that the title was still on. The tickets for the game at Ewood Park would be like rockin’ horse shite.
“It has been disappointing but I firmly believe Arsene Wenger knows what he is doing and will get it right next season,” said the Charlie Dimmock lookalike. “He knows what players he wants and he will spend the summer acquiring them. The key area for me is centre-halves, with three players out of contract in Sol Campbell, Mikael Silvestre and William Gallas. Will any of them stay?”
Parlour didn’t agree with me that Abou Diaby has had plenty of chances to prove he is worth sticking with and has consistently proven to be, well, inconsistent. “He’s a good player, I like the way he shields the ball,” he said. “I’d like to see him after another season, although he needs to add some steel to his game.” Yes, I countered but it is always about this season when you are in pursuit of silverware, surely? Especially after five sodding seasons.
On we moved to Tom Rosicky, who I argued showed only flashes of the ability we know he has but has failed to deliver on demand. “When you have been out for 18 months it is really hard to get back into things, the way you were before, believe me, your body isn’t balanced and you pull things because you are simply not used to playing football at that level. I’d like to see him with a good pre-season in him,” said Parlour.
Avoiding obvious targets such as Nik Bendtner and the Chuckle Brothers (Almunia and Fabianksi), I pointed out that overall Bacary Sagna had hardly improved from last season and that he didn’t get forward enough in my opinion. “He’s not that type of defender,” said Parlour. “He’s more of a defensive defender.” Hmm, I guess I know what you mean, Ray, but surely in the modern game every team needs full-backs who defend and attack? “He’s had a good season for me,” said the man we dubbed Romford Pele.
We haven’t though, have we, Ray?
{jcomments on}
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Eldo71

Arsenal fan for 40 years. Schoolboys, North Bank, Clock End then East Upper. Then Emirates. AFC dream team: Wilson, Dixon, Sansom, Adams, Pates, Brady, Williams, Pires, Bergkamp, Henry, Wright. Subs: Seaman, Eldridge, Wilshere, RVP, Ball. Manager: Arsene Chapman.

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  • harper

    OT: you gotta read this fan’s experience after daring to calmly tell Arsene Wenger that what happened at Wigan was inexcusable:

    http://www.onlinegooner.com/exclusive/index.php?id=1654

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  • goonamerica

    why did I know it was not meant to be this season in November when rvp got injured? the silver lining is we were in the race for PL til 4 games from the end, and CL quarter finals. we have a good squad, it is still on the young side and needs our best players back, we need to strenghen in the places we have blogged about ad nauseum, our football is attractive, we have a great manager and a soundly run club. now lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Let’s see the positives, there are many, and come through the world cup with as many fit players as possible and be ready to go in august.

    the start of next season will be very difficult for many players with no break available to them really (2-3 weeks maybe) if their country has a good run in the WC. our blessing in disguise may very well be so many out now and getting rested so that they play the world cup and then are actually hitting fitness at the start of next season and ready to get the bit between their teeth. Anyone remember how lethargic TH14 was after WC in 2006?

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  • Romford Pele

    so just because he disagrees with you, you start belittling him.

    You are truly a small person.

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  • anon

    wow, parlour is one of our own and your cretinous attempt to take the piss out of him only marks you down as a *unt.

    you don’t like my opinion of you? well tuff, don’t give it out if you can’t take it.

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  • James

    made a slideshow about arsenal and who we need next season
    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/382609-players-i-want-wenger-to-sign

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  • Paul N

    Well you are wrong we have had a good season. It is ending a bit sour but overall it was good and we fought hard to get back in the thick of things when no one thought we could.

    Winning a trophy is not the only thing that constitutes a good season.

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  • Rupe

    He IS right, we have had an exceptional season. Just because we’ve faltered at the end doesn’t take away from the facts that we have a) made progress on last season and b) far exceeded expectations. We do need some signings to continue that, and I do agree that Diaby has gone backwards (something which is offset by the fantastic development shown by Song) but there’s no reason to lose patience.

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  • eldo

    Yes, yes I am…

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  • eldo

    Hey, good mantle that, ‘anon’ – live long and prosper…

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  • eldo

    No, I am right, we have had a shite season…I am afraid that for the Arsenal, after a five-year gap, the only thing that constitues a good season IS atrophy

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  • Aaron

    This is a load of crap… terrible English skills… you can hardly string a sentance together.. robot… writer… robot… yes.. no… then he said… and… robot… cannot compute… cannot compute… fan?

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  • eldo

    He IS wrong, as are you, but please do call again…

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  • Jimmy

    ah Eldo, clearly Aaron hasn’t had the pleasure of Henry Norris, one of the most creative writers on the internet. Where is John in Norfolk when you need him? Maybe that answers itself …

    Anyway, good work Eldo, I found this hilarious. Parlour is no Champagne Charlie!

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  • eldo

    Terrible English skills. Hmm. At least I can spell ‘sentence’ correctly, twat…and cheers for now.

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  • eldo

    Mate, Parlour is a top bloke and the fact that he said he’d rather sort his sock drawer than watch the Arsenal summed up our season for me. Going City?cheers Jim

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  • Jimmy

    haha jesus, i missed that he couldn’t spell sentence properly. what a loser.

    yea just waiting on my city ticket so should be there. sounds better than dagenham away at morecambe. fuck that for a game of toy soldier.

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  • dreezy

    I understand your point mate but have a bit more faith, your knocking some good players there, Our number 1 priority is defense, Almunia isn’t a world class keeper and Silvestre has played too many games for my liking, We gambled with Sol and it has payed off but we cant rely on him for another season, as Tony Adams said you need the best defense to win the league and i believe this. Personally I think, if we don’t loose any players in the summer we will need to sign a new keeper, a solid center back, a defensive mid and another striker.

    P.S Ray’s a ledge he’s done his time at Arsenal and was very successful!

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  • Paul N

    You are wrong

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  • Paul N

    Five year gap, five year gap! So you “support” Arsenal based on trophies? many teams have had gaps you know, including Barca and United. Chelsea just started to win anything and pool hasnt dont much at all recently.

    Your veiw is pessimistic. Its a shame that you have not looked at the situation of the team with all they had toovercome and were still within a shout until the end.

    Ridiculous!

    Peace!

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  • Paul N

    about 5′ tall?

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  • Berg10

    We haven’t had a good season at all, in fact it’s been a very open title as none of the “top teams” have shown consistency and that was why we
    are / were close at the end.

    Not normally being overly concerned about trophies I do feel we’ve missed a great opportunity of one this year and performances such as Wigan and West Ham merit having a dig at individuals including the great man for trusting in the same pricks that constantly under perform, this is what irks me most!!

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  • TJ14

    Players I would like Arsenal to sign:

    Lionel Messi, Wayne Rooney, Ronaldo etc etc. Stop posting your stupid article links on here. I don’t think anyone really cares who you want to sign.

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  • Jimmy

    HAHAHA Gary Cahill £15 mil …

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  • danthegooner

    2 centre backs, another solid DM, another Striker and keep everyone possible… even if only for injury cover!

    But, I still think Arsene knows and also think he’s doing a mix of balancing and gambling, lining us up with a decent youthful squad and money in the bank for when that glorious future arrives ;o)

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  • John in Norfolk

    Jimmy,

    I’m here but I caught a glimpse of Segna’s assets when we both dived under the table to retrieve a ten pence piece that Henry dropped in the saloon bar of the Rat and Ferret and my poor ancient heart is only just recovering whilst my eyes have at last crept back into their sockets.

    As to whether we have had a good or bad season in my opinion it has been like the proverbial Curates Egg, good in parts.

    Good that despite the horrendous injury list we have competed well in the two major competitions, bad in that we threw away our chances in the two cups. Also bad that despite the long term injury to RvP no attempt was made to sign a striker in January especially as Eduardo was returning from injury, Walcott was injured as was Bendtner.

    Good and bad in that it has shown that Arshavin is not up to Premiership football and Rosicky and Eduardo have not rediscovered their form.

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  • Aaron

    Yeah… you got me there… I just copped it as soon as I hit send…it’s hard to convince you that I have an A* in English?… damn it… maybe I’m wrong and your a nice guy… sorry if I offended you… but your a twat too… cheers big guy…. im too lazt to proof rear, let me know if I made any mistakes… up the Arse!

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  • Aaron

    Toy Soldiers… plural… dick wad… lets start an English grammar watch club… Eat my eyes.

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  • Aaron

    oh.. i meant lazy… and read… eat my ear lobes.

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  • Aaron

    Right.. im a shit typer… forget it… yis are prob right

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  • Jimmy

    Perhaps the game is called ‘Toy Soldier’. Maybe the game only requires one player. One nil to the Arsenal!

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  • Paul N

    The team has played well and injuries have hampered us once more.

    I dont know how finishing third can be a “bad” season, thats irrational thinking.

    It was not as good as we would like but to say it was bad is short sighted, dismissive with a sickening sense of entitlement.

    ARSENAL!!!

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