PGL: So matey, your in ‘Arry’s ‘Ands now. I know your living away from the British media frenzy but how has the news been received?
Patch: I don’t know fella, I just don’t know… It’s just a circus. When we got Ramos I was running around like a dog with two di*ks so lets just wait and see. I think that he will turn things around, but we won’t go from playing like crap to taking other sides apart overnight. The family line is that we’re happy it’s an Englishman but he’s a Hammer. And he’ll always be a Hammer. Having difficulty getting past that…
PGL: It seems there is a sense of delight that Damien Comolli is gone. Why didn’t a director of football system (a system I know you like and that works in Italy) work at White Hart Lane?
Patch: He was a scout for Arsenal yeah? But he’d go scout out the type of player Wenger wanted. If you needed a left winger Comolli would go out and try to find one. That’s a VERY VERY different thing to being in control of the whole balance of a squad. It didn’t work cause the guy wasn’t right. Simple as. Give Wenger a Director of Football job somewhere in England and I bet it would work. It’s more than looking at the ability of single players, it’s looking at the ability within the whole side.
PGL: So do you think you’ll be in the Top Four next season? (PGL falls over with laughter)
Patch: Don’t take the piss mate, this is hard enough! Honestly I think it will take a few seasons to rebuild now. (Jol would have got us there given the time, I hope Levy reads the Bundesliga results.) Redknapp has been going on about closing the gap between us and Arsenal. Boll*x. He should be more worried about the gap between us and Bolton. He needs to get us out of the bottom three then worry about the rest. Villa and City are really improving too so it will be a proper battle.
PGL: Ramos said losing Keane and Berbatov was impossible to recover from. But what else went wrong for him?
Patch: Is that not enough? Dude, we lost two key players. I know you lost Hleb and Flamini (I hope Harry brings Flamini back to North London. That would piss you lot right off!) but imagine if you’d lost Fabregas and Adebayor? I don’t think you boys would be too clever either. I think he lost the dressing room a long time ago too. Comolli also didn’t bring in any strength in around the middle. Lennon, Modric, Jenas and Bently aren’t what you’d call powerful.
PGL: OK so lets assume you get out of the bottom three this year, what else can you achieve?
Patch: Your talking like Christmas has come and gone and we’re running out of time. There is only ten points between us and UTD. A lot could change between now and by the time the window re-opens. I think we can still aim for a European spot and a good run in the Cups. For all issues I have with Levy I’m glad he wasn’t afraid to change things early in the season. Redknapp will have enough time to assess the squad and see whats needed come January. Sh*t. I’m sounding optimistic again. OK. I’d be very happy with a top ten finish.
PGL: So how do you think will Harry try to set up against us tonight?
Patch: With that Diaby and Song you could actually be the more physical side. That will be a first! Well under Wenger anyway. Graham’s Arsenal were pure dirt! It will be interesting to see how Bentley reacts, especially if Walcott plays. He’ll probably get himself sent off. It’s impossible to predict really given that Redknapp has just arrived. We’ll have to wait and see on this one. One thing you can count on is Roman Pavlyuchenko playing. With the way Gallas and Co defend set pieces he could have a field day!
PGL: It looks like King will play. How will that crock deal with Ade and RVP?
Patch: Ohhhh careful. You know about my love for Ledley. Fit he’s one of the top defenders in the world. And don’t you forget it! I think Arsenal in full flow are nearly impossible to stop to be truthful so it will be up to the likes of Jenas to not let you find your rhythm if we can do that, it could be an intesting night
PGL: Alright Patch, I’ll put you out of your misery, last question. What’s your prediction for the game?
Patch: It could be anything really couldn’t it? You could spank us… but with the feel good factor with us we could get a result. I think the first goal will be really really important. You score first, we’ll need to go at you, I don’t think we’ve got a midfield capable of chasing a game and not exposing us. That said you boys cannot defend anything in the air. Bentley delivering bombs to the big Russian, you won’t know what hit you! I’m going for a 1-2 with Bentley scoring the winner!
PGL: So there you go Insiders. Patch, my Spud mate… (BTW Potato Patch – Spud get it? His real name is Gav) he’s full of the usual Tottenham crap when you get down to it. But a mate’s a mate so don’t be too hard on him! I’m going for a 4-0 in our favour. Heart beats head every time in these fixtures! Bring on the scum!