Emirates Catering Part II: Empty stomachs linked to lack of trophies and a Mickael for a Michael

Arsenalinsider brought to light a very serious problem yesterday, that may or may not have been the route cause for Arsenal’s woes this season. FTK’s in-depth analysis of catering standards at the Emirates blew all other Arsenal related news out of the water, and got one Insider so infuriated it led to name brandings like “snob” and “masochist”, then to suggestions FTK might have a “severe digestive disability”. The big question though, was: does a crowd resting on an empty stomach affect the performance of the team in such a negative way that titles are impossible to win? The unanimous answer was neither here nor there.
Halfway through the heated debate (which finally dwindled down to a discussion on the seats at the Emirates being too comfortable, a complete contradiction on the proletarian catering paradigm) Ray (Parlour?) Rix (Graham?) posted: “There are a myriad of good restaurants around the area.” What profound observation. To clear the possibility that hungry fans are a leading factor for Arsenal’s underachieving, it was obvious what needed to be done:
For pre-match pizza, why not try the ‘Organic Pizza Company’ at 4B Gillespie Road. If Fish and Chips are more your scene, then go for ‘Cod Almighty’ which can be found at number 88 Hornsey Road. If you’re on Holloway Road there is ‘Dave’s Café and Sandwich Bar’ (128) or for the brave among us there is always ‘Exquisito’ Mexican restaurant at 167 Blackstock Road. This place I can vouch for, having a friend who lives above it with a window looking directly into their kitchen, and as of yet I can’t say I’ve seen them drop any food of the floor and continue to ferry it out as supper.
It’s painfully obvious there is little else to discuss at the moment with Arsenal. William Gallas looks set to head out of the door this summer since the money he seeks doesn’t quite sit, after Peter Hill-Wood described his demands of £80,000 as “extravagant”.  Let’s not forget too quickly though how improved Willy G was this season before injury cut it short. However, his services are replaceable and finding a long-term partner for Thomas Vermaelen might be the best options right now anyway. Also, Gallas has suffered more injuries than ever this season and might not have the time on his side other injury prone players do. Besides, it might be better to let him go now before we have another Adebayor on our hands. I’d prefer to have good memories of that shiny dome-headed Frenchman than I do of than the other one, him, that guaranteed Togolese journeyman.
In contrast Sol Campbell expressed his desire to stay with the club for another two years. Again, if the wages are fair then I see no reason to get rid of Sol. By the time he had come into the team Arsenal had already played Chelsea and Manchester United home and away. I can’t help but think that having somebody like Sol around during the handouts Arsenal were given by those finishing higher, well, we might have at least saved a few blushes if not won the games. One thing Sol has proved this season is never going down without a fight. Rivalries too seem to fire him up and it can only have a good impression on the rest of the squad.
And what’s the deal with Philippe Senderos? Still an Arsenal player having made just three appearances for Everton after he went on loan, I can’t help but feel sorry for the guy. Only 25-years-old and having shown promise as part of the defence that went 10 games undefeated during the 2005/06 Champions League campaign, he clearly fell out of favour with Arsene Wenger. I’m surprised he hasn’t made it onto the Arsenal websites transfer rumours page, which funnily enough only makes pertinent players in, not players out.
Maybe Senderos didn’t have it in him to be a permanent Arsenal figure, but at the same time Wenger has given countless chances to other players with less desire than Big Phil undoubtedly had. And how was it that Mickael Silvestre was a definitely a better option? Silvestre and the others remain at the club and are sure to be given more chances to cock-up next season. If it doesn’t work out for the Senderos (who speaks Italian) then there is a job waiting for him at Il Bacio. That one’s on Blackstock Road (four star).
One guy who we know will be there next season and who doesn’t need to form a coalition to gain the people’s trust is Robin van Persie. I was watching A.W.O.L on Channel Five a few nights ago, and at the end of the film French legionnaire Jean-Claude Van Damme is honourably freed instead of being dragged back to North African to complete his army duty. In the last clip Van Damme runs over the hill of a quiet street back into the arms of what remains of his torn-apart family. That split second was exactly how I felt in standing at the back of the away stand at Spurs when RVP returned.
It was refreshing to have the season end with the Dutchman back among the goals, especially timing it well enough to carry on haunting Fat Sam. Really though, I imagine Allardyce has a sexy mosaic shrine of Robin at the end of his garden which he keeps hidden from his wife with Blackburn tarpaulin. “Where are you going at this hour Sam?” …. “Er nowhere dear, just thought I heard some foxes in the rubbish out back, won’t be a minute, go back to sleep …” Allardyce you filthy …
All this talk of Allardyce and Highbury dining is making me hungry. It’s time for lunch, and to refresh the Arsenal transfer rumour page. Michael Arteta was the last piece of gossip. A Mickeal for a Michael? There you’re meal deal FTK!

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