FTK rant: Improve the atmosphere at the Emirates NOW!

Why don’t they sing? is a commonly cited remark from home and opposing supporters alike. The scenes at Arsenal home games can range from being frankly patronising as in the PA announcers ridiculous intro for the players Ed….Uardo (repeat after me children!) To the frankly bizarre obsession with all things Tottenham. I have tried composing songs, and claim the Vela Song among others that have found acceptance by the faithful. Recently I was struck by the lost opportunity as a new song was created for Thomas Vermaelen, an excellent ditty but it will never catch on and I’ll tell you why not…
There are several simple reasons why lots of people don’t sing at the Emirates, and I have concluded that ignorance plays a part, but the most significant reason is that if you sang the song in public next to an over zealous policeman, you could probably be cautioned under the public order acts.
It’s the swear words dummy! So here is the Vermaelen song…
Tom Vermaelen, Tom Vermaelen, Tom Vermaelen, Number 5!
(Ok to the tune of Oh my darling Clementine, so far so good)
F*** your Rooney F*** your Drogba, he will eat those C***s alive
Oh dear! See the problem?
I ask myself, now what is it about swear words, and gross obscenities that add flavour to a song? It actively excludes anyone under 12 years of age and anyone of a nervous disposition, and the sad thing is, they can be so unnecessary.
Lets try this again shall we?
“Tom Vermaelen, Tom Vermaelen Tom Vermaelen, Number 5…!
Stuff your Rooney, Stuff your Drogba, he will eat those fools alive!”
Well, that wasn’t too painful was it? Whilst stuff isn’t at the top of the obscenities chart, unlike the ‘F’ word, it implies the same meaning but the difference being a 12 year old could easily sing along with that, without getting stern looks from their grannies!
So a suggestion!
Some Arsenal fans might like to clean up their songs before expecting the majority in the stadium to sing them. Is this so hard? Why complain about the lack of atmosphere when you have created the problem about acceptability in the first place. Before you all think that Ftk is getting old fashioned I will remind you of an often quoted expression by Voltaire which is,
“I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”
I can agree with that and that is why I defend the right of Gooners to place on this website views which are not mainstream, but I have decided to draw the line with regard to obscenities. So swear as much as you like in the company of like minded Gooners who feel the need to do so, but I am being liberal, and democratic and believe that when it comes to defending atmosphere generation using Arsenal songs, I am am suffering from Obscene fatigue!  After all isn’t it time that those who complain so bitterly about the lack of atmosphere at the Emirates cleaned up their act? Would it be so hard to do without the ‘C’ word for a change?
Another question, expressive emphasis aside what is so appealing about using the ‘F’ word in every other refrain? Does it make one more macho? Will you pull more Goonerettes? What I do know is that we have creative fans out there who can compose decent songs, so lets do it. Here’s a reminder of my Vela Song
“Oh Vela, Vela, Our Mexican superstar,
He’s better than Cantona, Oh Vela Vela…”
I would accept that sometimes minor expletives/vernacular are quite amusing as in this Fabregas refrain to the old ‘We love you Freddie song’
“Oh Cesc Fabregas, you are the love of my life,
Oh Cesc Fabregas, I’ll let you shag my wife,
Oh Cesc Fabregas, I wanna play football like you…
(and he hates Man U…)”
Now the question is looking at your partner/wife tonight, would Fabregas take you up on that offer?….lol!
Ok the commonly accepted refrain for our skipper is
“We’ve got Cesc Fabregas, We’ve got Cesc Fabregas”
A challenge. On Wednesday night as we aspire for number one in the Premier league, let us at least agree to try and sing songs that everyone can join in with. The traditional Arsenal songs are good, but a note to the authors of new chants for the players. Make them cleaner, and I dare say that you will get a bigger audience!
Here are some “clean” songs from the Red Action web site!
http://www.redaction.org.uk/chants.html 
Rule Britannia (Thomas Arne)
“Good old Arsenal! We’re proud to say that name! While we sing this song, we’ll win the game!”
(unknown)
“We love you Arsenal! We do! We love you Arsenal! We do!
We love you Arsenal! We do! Ohhhh Arsenal we love you!”
Wild Rover (Dubliners)
“And it’s Arrrrrseeeenal! *clap-clap-clap*
Arsenal F.C.! We’re by FAR the greatest team the world has ever seen!”
Go West (Pet Shop Boys)
“One-nil to the Arsenal! One-nil to the Arsenal! One-nil to the Arsenal! One-nil to the Arsenal!”
Land Of Hope And Glory (Edward Elgar)
“We all follow the Arsenal over land and sea (and Leicester)! We’ll follow the Arsenal unto victory! (all together now)”
Guantanamera (Tito Puente)
“One team in London! There’s only one team in London! One team in London! There’s only one team in London!”
Nuff said… Rant over!

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