Henry Norris is the pissed old fart of a football correspondent for the Bugle newspaper and an ardent Arsenal supporter to boot. Each week he’ll join us here at arsenalinsider.com to bring you his forthright views on all Gooner matters…please be advised, he hits the bottle early!
WHAT is going on with our keepers? It is fair to say that errors from both the hapless Lucasz Fabianksi and error-prone Manuel Almuina have cost us the title. Well, that and a raft of diabolical injuries to key players. And by the way, what happened to Vito Mannone?
Should we start to point the finger at the goalie coach of the Royal Arsenal, one Gerry Peyton? I am sure he is a nice enough chap, but there is, er, Peyton-tly something awry with his advice, certainly the ‘should I punch, should I catch?’ issue. It may sound a bit harsh but surely to Dennis (God) we should draft in our best-ever custodian, David Seaman, to put the keepers through their paces.
Anyway, for a spot of football betting. I have just sent my heavy-chested secretary, Senga, down to Party Bets to stick a ten spot on Wojciech Szczesny being our No.1 for next season. If that comes in I’ll be buying drinks all night at the Fox’s Neck after the first game of next season, which, I am reliably informed, is away to Newcastle United.
Bumped into George Graham the other night at Funky Budha and the old cove tells me he is doing some scouting for the Royal Arsenal, though he wants to keep it on the old QT. Apparently, AW has had GG watching matches from Argentina’s Primera Division on an obscure satellite TV channel in the hope he can track down a new Lionel Messi, or a budding Nelson Vivas. He thinks AW may go for striker Mauro Boselli from Estudiantes.
GG says he is on £75 per recommendation but gets one over on our heroic leader by Sky-plussing the matches, which are shown at 3am GMT, and watching them during the day. “It’s a hoot and he’ll never know I don’t stay up half the night,” he tells me over pink gins and a couple of snorts of high grade meow meow. He does now Georgie boy!
Whisper it in the corridors of power at the Bugle, but I have been tapped up as a reserve pundit for the BBC’s World Cup coverage. Of course, I shall be in South Africa for the tournament and keeping a watchful eye on the players representing their countries from the Royal Arsenal but the chance to sneak a few extra rand to play a talking head and state the obvious appeals to me no end as, of course, does the gratis gargle in the green room.
My only problem with a role would be that I might have to swap pleasantries and compare tactics with Emmanuel Adebayor, who I am told has agreed to be part of the Beeb broadcasting team. Worry not, my fellow Arsenalistas, I’ll piss in the prat’s pint pot when he nips to the loo after the show. Pip pip for now, dear readers, I can see from my office window that Reg, the landlord of the Fox’s Neck, has opened up and I am off for a morning tincture to try to shift this cold. Up the Gunners, old boys…
Henry was talking to Carl Eldridge.