The Henry Norris Hour

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Henry Norris is the football correspondent of the Bugle newspaper and an ardent Arsenal supporter to boot. Each week he’ll join us here at arsenalinsider.com to bring you his forthright views on all things AFC…please be advised, it is not for the faint-hearted!

Blinkered coffin-dodgers
Picture the scene: A silver-haired octogenarian saunters over to the bar and orders another G&T. “Who? An appeal…I shouldn’t think so. No. What on earth is that chap’s name again? Vermaelen? Some sort of foreigner, eh? Bloody hell, can’t these people learn a lesson; we’re in charge and we won’t undermine our puppets, the referees, by going back on their decisions. Make them look silly that would. Bloody people. So it’s a ‘no’ from me. Horace, fancy another, old boy?” This could easily be the scenario from those Colonel Blimp types in the FA as they discuss the Royal Arsenal appeal against the sending off of our player of the season. That these crusty cretins can’t see with their own eyes that it was never a penalty nor indeed a sending odd is a travesty. The sooner some of these blinkered coffin-dodgers pop their clogs the better. Here endeth the lesson.
Andrey Arshavin
It has come to my notice that Mr Arshavin is courting rather too much publicity and providing the Royal Arsenal doubters out there in media land with ammunition to shoot down our quest for glory. Given the level of effort our jet-heeled Russian striker is exerting on the field of play at the moment it would be wise for him to keep his lip buttoned, in the humble opinion of your correspondent. I suggest he reverts to black boots rather than changing multi-coloured footwear at half-time, runs about a bit more and starts getting amongst the goals again and then he can have as much air space, column inches and internet thingy he likes. I’d wager five pounds he’ll be off in the summer. He is starting to believe the hype. It would be shame if he heads for pastures Nou. Let’s pull together for the final push and seek out the silverware.
Pat Rice’s sunglasses
 
These have bothered me for some time. I call them sunglasses but they don’t appear to be actually. And that is the problem. I think they call optical looking glasses such as these reactolites. No man involved in the management of Royal Arsenal should be seen in these. The club has style, majesty and tradition and for Pat to bring such shame on the Gunners by wearing these vision-enhancing contraptions makes me want to grow boils with the sole purpose of bursting them over an open flame. Pat, no.
We’ve only got one Song
 
An email arrives at Norris Towers from the president of Cameroon, Paul Biya. It seems that President Biya is an ardent Arsenal fan and he writes to tell me that he will be visiting London on the weekend of the Wolves game and will be coming to the Home of Football as a guest of his fellow countryman Alex Song. Not having been before, he wanted to pick my brains about the correct chanting and various ditties of which he should be aware during the game. He tells me he does have the, er, song sheet for the ‘We’ve only got one Song’ song about Alex Song but that if there are any other pertaining to our very own Indomitable Lion he’d very much like to be in the know. I have suggested ‘Our Song has got his boots on, hip, hip, hip, hooray’ based on the tune written by Noel Gay and Ralph Butler, and recorded in 1932 by Ambrose and his Orchestra, with vocals by Sam Browne…but he seemed less than keen. Over to you dear reader: the best offering gets an signed Alex Song beer mat. Signed by me, not Alex.

Henry norris was talking to Carl Eldridge

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