Wenger to snap up Messi: The Henry Norris Hour

Hic! Henry Norris is the rather squiffy football correspondent of the Bugle newspaper and an ardent Arsenal supporter to boot. Each week he’ll join us here at arsenalinsider.com to bring you his forthright views on all things AFC…please be advised, he hits the bottle early!
Messi business
If I had a hat, I’d take it off. The gesture would be for the electric display from Lionel Messi for Barcelona in the Nou Camp the other night when he single-handedly ended the Royal Arsenal’s Champions League dream. I wonder if Arsene Wenger, a manager for whom I have the utmost respect, should try to sign this little Argentinian player.
Of course, I reaaise that it might take a few quid from the coffers but let’s no forget we are the Bank of England club, or that certainly used to be the case, and I am sure we can persuade these Spanish chaps to let go of their best player…we could even offer a player or two in a swap deal. I’m convinced Mr Wenger could pull this deal off and I would urge him to throw in Mikel Silvestre and perhaps Sol Campbell as make-weights for the move. Messi in a Royal Arsenal shirt…now that would put bums on deats for next season.
Dart through the heart
Andy The Viking Fordham emails me to complain about the price of his ticket for the Barca game in the Nou Camp. Apparently fans of the Royal Arsenal were charged more than £70 to see the game and when Andy, who remember is the darts professional who lost 33 stone, got into his seat he realised that he was 2.4 miles from the pitch, such is the size of the stadium.
He also tells me that the Catalan poilce were rather too quick to pull their batons as Gunners supporters became impatient at being kept in the ground on the game’s conclusion. Shame on them Barca may well be the vanguard of European football, but as a club, they appear to me to be very third division. And yes, this is very much a case of sour grapes.
Plain sailing with Anfield ’89 heroes
Of course, we have no fixture this saturday coming and instead of watching my beloved Royal Arsenal in action I have been persuaded by my rather busty secretary Senga to go sailing of the coast of Bognor Regis, West Sussex. All fine and dandy, you might think. All rather pleasant and above board, is perhaps another thought they might enter your bonce. Well, there is an added bonus to this particular sailing trip. Senga has managed to arrange for the majority of the lads who won the league on Merseyside that famous night in May 1989 with a 2-0 triumph to come along. The fizz has been ordered and the pickled onions — a particular favourite of Kevin Richardson’s, I am told — are on board. I’ll report back as there are sure to be tales to be told of our adventures on the English channel. Pip. pip and up the Royal Arsenal!
Henry was talking to Carl Eldridge

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