Being run down by a car is a bad thing, or so you’d think. As damaging as it was, and the reason for my absence from Insider, there was a funny twist to it all and the reason why I’m typing this before I make my way to Upper Street and wait for a number 19 bus to step out infront of.
The accident itself wasn’t far off Stephen King’s ‘The Green Mile’, where John Coffey’s supernatural powers heal the sick and dying by sucking out their evil within then selflessly placing the pain upon himself. Away from the fiction of King and into the reality of a North London football club, Arsenal’s own tale of suffering was at an all time low, rejoicing at the sight of an injury list relatively short and virtually blank were it not for the absence of TV5.
Was it possible that in the split second where car bumper met skin, then muscle, then bone, that I had like Coffey, withdrawn Arsenal’s injury woes, or at least prevented any further setbacks? The club hadn’t had any injuries, until that is I had my last real check-up with the doctor. All of a sudden SN8 pulls up with a hamstring injury, LF21 is ruled out for the season and AS17 is expected to miss Newcastle at the weekend.
Supernatural or not, the point is that Arsenal have been in a good state of health for a record length of time, so is it any coincidence Wenger’s team still have a foot in all four competitions? It would be at a push to suggest that injuries are the root cause of this five year trophy famine. Maybe there have been times when you’ve thought, ‘just what if RVP was fit?’, but then football is more about one man, and if fringe players can’t come in and seize an opportunity then the truth is the squad aren’t up to scratch. Still, isn’t it nice to see how a plan with few holes can slowly come together?
Plenty has happened following Arsenal from within the sterile confines of hospital. Andy Gray and Richard Keys have left us, not necessarily for the sexist remarks they made (because they would have been out sooner) but for getting caught saying them by the public eye. It would take a better man than me to claim they’ve never made a sexist comment with ‘the lads’. The problem was, Gray and Keys thought they were untouchable, like Eliot Ness and Jim Malone, only the brainless version.
Until the ‘dark forces’ brought Keys crashing down into an unconvincing apologetic wash-up on the radio, Sky Sports were willing to stand by their man. Originally, Keys was handed a one match suspension from presenting, the same as a player collecting five yellow cards and less than Sian Massey has had to suffer out of consequence – the focus needing “to be on the football match not the officials. It would be unfair on the clubs involved.”
Male referees get slammed every week for making poor decisions, often from the clubs involved themselves, yet it is only Massey who has to sit out. Why anyway when all she did was make a very good decision? I suppose a lines(woman) is far to weak to handle herself below the repartee of chauvinistic male fans. So, make sure to recognise the protection you’re receiving Ms Massey, and thank the boys at the FA when you see them. Now tell me, who’s more sexist?
And if the focus should be on the game and not on the officials, then why was Ryan Babel fined £10,000 for Twittering a mock image of Howard Webb in a Manchester United kit? Could Webb not see the funny side? The truth it would seem is that the focus is on everything but the football, summed up by the time wasting of Tim Howard which got it’s just deserts.
In recent news Andy Carroll was sold to Liverpool for £35 million. Fine, spend what you will on players regardless of how good they may or may not be. But what I struggle to understand is why all these transfers happen at the last minute? It’s like finding Kenny Dalglish in the line at Tesco, watching him get to the end and being suckered into impulsively buying a Galaxy, a Twirl, Percy Pigs and a packet of Andy Carrolls for the car.
Expect to find Carlo Ancelotti in the same queue or at his laptop after a heavy night of drinking putting in last minute bids for footballers on eBay without care nor caution.
A knock on the door at Stamford Bridge:
Courier: A fast track delivery for Chelsea FC. Just needs a signature (taps the doted line with his pen)
CFC Club official: OK, now really, who spent £50 million on the club’s eBay account buying … (eyes the label) a second hand Fernando Torres? I’m looking at you, Carlo
When John Terry, Michael Essien, Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba were injured, Ancelloti couldn’t get the best out of his second string. It didn’t even look as if he knew who Daniel Sturridge was. Wenger must take credit for overseeing his whole squad with detailed surveillance and at times like this we can admire the way Arsenal get by with so many injuries and a heavy reliance on the youth system. Buying Torres then appears desperate and lazy, and while Arsenal fans will have some concerns over Wenger’s inactivity throughout the January transfer window, at least, amid the bravado and embarrassment football has forgone, the club retains its own dignity; wouldn’t you say so, David Moyes?
My own dignity was lost on the linesman Tuesday night at my first game back watching Arsenal since being mowed down. If the camera had panned out on Lee Mason conferring with his assistant you might have seen the spit flying from my mouth onto the person in front. The team were not at their best, especially in the first half, but the hunger of the team right now is hard to knock. It was good being back, but I’m willing to give that all up if it means Arsenal return to full health and turn it into a major trophy, preferably the Premier League. So join me if you will, here comes the number 19 …
THE ARSENAL
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