What is it about the month of November and Arsenal having a dip in form? Arsene Wenger must know the reason for now he puts our recent defeat down to being unlucky. He clearly knew what I was going to reveal to you all today. The curse of November appears to be a perennial malaise which causes us to doubt our sanity as well as reduce our chances of winning the league. Only 11 games in and we have lost 3 games. Time was when we would go an entire season with only three defeats. Followers of Witchcraft celebrate November for the Greek Goddess of Ghosts called Hectate. She was apparently revived after committing suicide by Artimes, and since then she has been the avenger of abused woman, a disciple of necromancy and a key symbol for curses and rituals intended to bring about misfortune. So she is clearly a Tottenham fan, and probably responsible for our recurrent run of form during November months.
Well what else could be to blame? We have the finest training facilities in the Premiership, accompanied by a youth squad of immense potential. We have been unlucky with injuries and always seem to have the opposition Keeper playing their best ever game against us. But what many Gooners do not realise is that a Romany Gypsy who also happened to be a Tottenham supporter cursed the Emirates when it was being built. The Gypsy burnt an Arsenal shirt and then cursed it’s ashes. These ashes were then secretly brought on site by a labourer working on the new stadium who then buried the ashes in the concrete underneath the central area of the foundations to be laid underneath the Emirates pitch. Apparently the curse will last until the end of the modern World rumoured to be on December 21st 2012.
Superstition abounds in Football folk lore too. Many Arsenal fans were aware of Kolo Toure and his need to be the last player out on the pitch, Adebayor had shin guards that he never changed. To break a superstition is to court bad luck and misfortune. Again in November the playing of matches on dates which are prime 7, 17, and 23 is yet more bad luck. Today we received news that Vermaelen has suffered an injury setback with his Achilles and that Koscienly’s appeal against a red card has been dismissed. Closer to home, our normally fit and able bloggers have been reduced in number one by one after having been struck down by one biblical infectious plague or another. So I shall be driving home very carefully tonight, and hoping that the odd black cat runs to cross the road in front of me. All in all, the message is very clear. Don’t blame fabianski or Arsene Wenger, don’t even blame poorly motivated players, and don’t for one minute even think about blaming the referees. So I for one am very relieved to find out that in fact our malaise is due to the black arts being practised. Yep! I blame witchcraft for our poor form. Makes sense surely? …. Or am I wrong, can you give me any other explanation?
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